i always reminisce.. what my teacher always tell me

"you are doing a good thing, but i doesn't mean people will appreciate it, and in the end, people will think that you're doing a bad thing"

and its true enough..

ok.. i am now in the "office"..
had done all of my "work"
yea.. all of them went to attend the meeting..
i didn't want to go because i'm wearing SLIPPERS and not wearing even half formal clothes..
i would be damn shy wei...
having butt sit in the chair for 3 hours.. it might worth it if i learn something rather than being so tired and listen to the things which is confidential and got to keep to myself..
cheeez!

back to "college"
omg!! so many assignments to do but i have no mood to do it at all...
yup! i seem to be so hopeless after my very "expensive" lesson last semester..
but i know i know..
discipline.. self-motivation.. initiative.. hardworking.. blah blah..
and my finals is at..
2 papers in october and 1 paper in november..
after that MERDEKA...
ok.. i know its tooooooo early to think about it.. but just think only lar..

don't know why i am so tired la.. BUH!

yesterday i don't know why i would sent a stupid message..
just to convince her to go to the doctor...
in which she is stubborn enough to do that..
i had a shocked of my life seeing her right in front of me choking because she cant swallow her food, suffocating and seeing her tears coming out.. i got STUN there for a few seconds!
everytime i will see her either feeling giddy, heart burn or headache..
see her like that i also feel very sakit hati..
i treat her like my mom, and i don't want anything bad happen to her :(

realize

Finally, i knew the real meaning and the arts of "keeping to yourself"
today i am so damn depressed of which i don't know what is happening to me..
suddenly i feel that i don't belong anymore..

in reality, everything is so cruel..
when u have something or u got something..
people will just treat you so nice..
when u lost it.. then its the time to realize..

people say,
people come and go,
its a things where it cannot be control.

but for me..
its depends on whether u want it or not..
whether u have the initiative or not..
if u doesn't want to lose it..
u will not..

when discrimination begins..
from there.. u will learn everything..

they said friends are just passer-by..
but i said.. they can be passer-by..
or
u want them to be the ones who will accompany you to walk for the rest of your life :)

i treasure them.. but do they?
*depressed*

brain damage

well, its been really a loong loong time since i update this blog..
yea, kinda lazy too.. hahaha!

well, my currently situation is..
BAD x10 WORST x100 SUCK x1000 $#@!%#$-UP X100000000.....

ok.. my life now would be --->
college(assigm+bullshit+crap+POLC+sohai lecturer) + --> work(travelling+ thinking of transport) ----> sleep(still thinking) =STRESS + brain damage

its been the longest time i've meet the 38 gang.. didnt have the time to go meet the 38 ppl..
ok.. now i'm asking u all..
"helo.. how are you? :) "

since most of my friends have already left malaysia..
they are all around the world in every corner of this world..
mostly they JAM themselves in australia..
very very very less outing already..
now i think i go huc more than i go subang... maybe thats a good thing..

after my car was taken away..
i can really see the true colours of people..
see it on my own eyes,
of course the truth always hurts, but its better to know now then never right?
i dont know why even though i have known the truth from the beggining, i chose to deny, therefore now i deserve to suffer the consequences...

aiyoo.. tomorrow test,
4 chapters.. and i just started..
wish goodluck to me... hallelujah..
so not gonna sleep tonight..
mahai.. i hate my stupid lecturer wei!! fucking dumb ass!! well, cant blame him.. he has the biggest ass i've ever seen in my whole life..

it has ended before it beguns... when i thought everything is gonna be ok

life has to move on right?

thinking of next year just makes me feel so excited!! hahaha...
shhh.... p&c!! hahaha!!