HighWays

Reflecting back, it sounds kind of weird, have to say that, or have to put in this way describing, in actuality, there is no words to describe how I feel. it is the mixture of stupidity, naive, stubbornness and... so hard to describe. I don't know what is the right word for it. Nobody knows but me.

All I am facing are all of my own deeds which resulted in today's consequences I'm facing. I have never blame anyone, all I blame was myself and me only. There was never a gun pointed at my head to do all these, I myself chose the way. Having to choose this "The Road Not Taken", it has been a wrong choice I've made in very first beginning. I did not put a barrier, gap or limit to it, instead, i put my everything into it, therefore, I now lost everything I've ever owned. I've been running away from this problem ever since I've realised it will happen, its just the matter of time, trying really hard to figure out, sort it out, solve it.. But I do wish everything was just as easy as just saying it. The fear, worries, denial is there, I have insomnia because of all these.

"Grace, you sure can wan"
"Grace, no problem wan"
"Grace very tough wan, so easily lam meh"
"Grace wor, sure can help u wan"
"Tell Grace, see if she can help you"

Hmph, all these sentence, 1 word, BULLSHIT! nonsense. Don't ever use these sentence on me, I would not feel flattered, I will feel its a mocking.

Today, I lose everything, includes my breathe. As surprise as I said, but I have give my all. All my strength is gone, as I am all alone. The road I've taken, the path I've stepped, the choice I've made, the trust I believe, the efforts I've put in, the people I've CHOSE to believe in, rely on, depend on, totally.. I can say it as a Fairytale but ends in the opposite direction.

Of course, many people will tell me, its just a ups and downs of life, but, have you ever have ur down of life? Do you know how it feels? it ain't easy, more difficult than you can ever imagine, making decisions that will affect your life forever. Now I treasure the phrase of "Prevent if better than cure", truly feel it.

One of Miley Cyrus's song, "The Climb", now I know this song is very meaningful and beautiful. Of course, hope that things will be as easy as you sing the song but sadly, No. You dont know what is waiting on the other side. There is always another mountain, keep the faith, there is always a uphill battle. Keep on moving, keep on climbing.. Its all about THE CLIMB.

Anyhow, life must go on, choice must be made, no matter what.

Regrets, I have. But there is no exemptions. Much more than this, I am going to do it MY WAY.