speechless

funny as it seems
crazy as i speak
saddening as i complaint
damn fed up as i think
dissapointing as i recall

problems problems problems problems

never ending

i want to tell the truth
but i can't
maybe because of my egoism

i know i am so screwed
i know
i try to find a way out
i am so fucking stress and worn out
always dealing with those PROBLEMS
but who can i share with?
advice is what i need..
only reasonable advice i will follow
but not everyone can give me that

its been a hell for me since i enter this college
everyday,
u have to expect the unexpected
and always have to make sure that you're ready for it

but,
i am really glad that i got to meet really kind people here.
whom i can call my friends.
although all of them are not students,
they are like 5 years, 10 years even 30 years older than me,
they are really like my family.
i can tell everything to them
i can be myself when i am with them
i can tell them the truth without any hesitation
i do not need to tell lie,
or
need to think another story to cover up

i really hope my real family are like them,
all i want is them to be understanding,
can they once think from my shoes?
my face shows that i'm ok
i'm cool,
i'm tak apa apa,
but do you know what i really feels.
for everyone's information,
HELLO!
i am also a HUMAN with FEELINGS!

i have set a goal for myself:-
1) MOVE OUT!
2) MOVE OUT!!
3) MOVE OUT!!!

because i'm so fed up!!!! i want to have my OWN home :(

OUT! *panting*