sigh

today we had a chat...
disappointment on mr.victor towards my slumberness is making me very very stress..
i respect him a lot.. and i dont want to disappoint him..
just that.. haiz
i wanted to win of course..
but..
the feeling is just not there...
if i lose.. i know i will disappoint a lot of people.. after of all what i've did.. i know i shouldn't give up but... *sigh*

when ppl get tired.. they'll just go home and rest.. and do whatever they want to relax
BUT
i just cant find peace in my own bladdy house..
i just dont call that my home.. i just call that a place whre i sleep..
its damn irritating and annoying when do this also canot do that also canot..
people getting old are getting crazier.. fucking hate their attitude..
i just wanna do.. give him a big slap of the face and tell him
"mahai! u old man! i don give a fuck on what u wanna do.. u dont touch me i dont touch u.. now u will got a little bit respect for u and don lose it.. if u're too free and want to control things.. go get a dog!"


i think i need a hotel
zzz



GOD! i need to go to motivation camp ><"

i'm so tired but i cant sleep
i'm so worn out but i look so fresh
i'm so fed up but i still go on
i'm so close to winning but i nearly gave up
i'm so close to going crazy but still i'm very normal
i'm so close to come to fight but i'm in control
i'm so wanna bash them up but i know i cant do that
i'm so wanna sleep but i my eyes cant close
i'm so wanna shut down my brain but it just keep going
i'm so sick with them but still i have to bear with it
i'm so wanna puke but nothing is coming out
i'm so willing to sacrifice but dont know whether its worth it
i'm so going to let everything go but i know its impossible for me to do it
i'm so close to victory but i will only know the results in less than 24 hours ><""