chapter 73

today, i brave myself to tell the truth to my parents..
i purposely went all the way up to subang to collect my exam transcript, and then after that i went to hict to do all those application thing....
today is the worst day of all..
i was real depressed ever since i woke up early in the morning..
because the day before i've decided to tel them today..
i was like what i did i do i say i act and as long as what i do today is like not lancar at all..
i was real real damn worried about what is about to happen..
i do expect something bad to happen as in i noe my result is very bad...
and i also hope that the worst thing will not happen and hope that everything will not be that worst..

i really don't have the guts to tell my dad and i msg him...
i was really really stress..
after i took my transcript, i went to see ms. jaya and i saw my test paper, 1 word says it all, horrible... dun really wanna describe more..
of course i wish i can turn back time.. but i cant..
nad i cant register today because i need my parents signature..
but i did meet shao ying.. and chat a little..

after i went back home... i tel my mum...
and she did not scold.. she of course nag..
when my dad came home, i cannot even look at him..
after he ate his dinner, he told me that he doesn't want me continue studying in business anymore... he ask me to go to the government and go study language and become a teacher..
fuck lah wei!! tcher is a really no way for me course..
i was like real stress when he said that..
i try to tel him but he said, "u have prove to me that u cannot study"
then u no need to study this anymore..
i was like totally broke down, i canot even speak..
jus because i cant pass the only freaking stats and i was like being sentence to life..
i am totally speechless...

i know i have to blame myself for them to react like this..
but, i mean...haiz.. i really duno what to say...
the managment here said that they can let me continue my degree here... and let me wait till my results is out.. i mean i have to retake...mean the results will be on july... and they say i should not be a problem..

in this family, i have no one to turn to.. none..
it is like....
i cant tell my dad of course...
and i cant tell my mum because... i dun think i gotta explain more...
i cant tell my sis coz...she is like my mum...
my two bro is like the angle in my mom's eyes..
my youngerst bro... i hate him.. coz he really not only annoys me but he did things that make me wanna whack him...
this time.. i fell real hard... like i fell from the top floor of kl tower...
i seriouslly injured and there's no one i can turn to...
all i can do is go to my bedroom and looks at the wall and keep it to myself..
looks at the sky and thinking what is my next move...
i am really stress.... and very depressed...

for the 1st time, i got no idea on what to do...
i am out of idea...
i always help my frens to think all those stupid ideas and turn out that it actually works..
i always give advice and cheer them up
but now.. i m the one who is suffering the same thing.. and i have really no idea to handle this..
for the first time in my life, i have suffer this failure, and feeling like one...
i think i am one... in a way or another.
i have fell hard this time, and is suffering bleeding internal injury with cuts all over my body,
i would really appreciate if no one would apply salt into my wound as it will not improve the situation....
=(

almost everyday the sky rains..
it rains continuously, everyday...
night after night,
day after day,
somehow i felt that the sky is crying for me...
and.. it is..

from this moment on, my life is gonna so fuck up until i will be fuck by millions of ppl that will include my parents... my life will be as suck as a drop out student who canot even finish foundation.. fact is the truth.. no point crying over spilt milk.. ya... i noe...
if accepting is as easy as saying.. the word "truth" will not appear in the dictionary...
if u know who and what are my family.. u will know that how torture and hell of life i am going to face..
i fail my bst again.. fuck me

C h a p t e r 72

29-02-2008
happens every 4 years.. spend the night with eugene, eyo, krun in mamak..
saying that we should appreciate the night.. damn crap

but, another incident happen to the house behind my house, my neighbour, anutie bee's hse kena rompak!! at 7-8am in the MORNING!! OMG!!! the robbers are damn damn daring!!
she was tied up and was pushed into the toilet.. was lock in the toilet..
and after the robbers left.. she can actually KNOCK DOWN the WOODEN TOILET DOOR!!
omg lah!!

this afternoon, i think evening already lar..
was watching Alvin and the chipmunks... enjoying and laughing the whole way..
suddenly pulak mich and xinyi msg telling my stats result came out edi..
from that moment onwards, i canot even laugh.. i was STUN!!
coz i have no confidence and no preparation at all!! coz i was told that it is out next friday..
o m g!! i m so fucking stress!!! and worry!!
plus later jaye called and ask me wif a down tone.. lagi makes me more stressss!!!
ooooh goooood!!!!
seriouslly until now i havent even got the guts to check my results...
GOD !!! HELP ME!!!

*cough* i m soooooooooooooooo stresssssssssssssssss
can someone kill me???!!!

C h a p t e r 71

today i actually woke up 6 am in the morning..
went to taylors besides wanna take transcript.. also to teman yin to sneak into the unisa orientation and lepak in subang.. hahah!! coz we are really bored and rotting like shit!!
and of course the MAIN PURPOSE IS TO meet up with mich ja ju kim suz and xinyi and the others lah!!!! about 1 month din see them d mah!
purposely don't want to tel them.. so that can tipu them mah!! hahaha!!!
besides... give a little surprise lor... =)

early on my way up to college, we nearly meet with an accident on federal highway.. actually not nearly BUT already..
in the car was me, sueanne, joe and eugene's driving..
actually was the 2nd time already because the 1st time was joe, he worst, he drift his car..
eugene was only driving 100km/j.. and dunno why suddenly the car 2nd in front jus stopped.. i mean is immediate brake.. very very luckily eugene drove carefully and was driving quite a distance from the car in front..
and very very luckily the car in front of us quickly drove to the side, if not seriouslly our car will jus crash and i dun think our car's enjin and front part is totally gone.. OMG!!
but luckily just a scratch only...
the loud brake sound and the smoke from our car's tyre really freak me out!!!
i tel u, if the car in front didn't "siam".. sure GG ah!! maybe now blogging in hospital.. *touchwood*

ok, "amazing"end of story...
breakfast mamak with the same usual ppl... roti telurrrrrrr!!!!
me, yin, fran, fiona, joe, eugene, hong, jason, sam, louis and his fren... kelvin cant join coz he woke up late *tsk* *tsk*

me and yin curi curi sneak into LT1.. hahahaha!!!!! easy job!!
sat wif frances they all on the 1st half...
sat wif my lovely frens of point 3 and the others on the 2nd half..
but i got to noe new frens.. so worth it lah!
melarikan diri after 2nd half... yes...
pool wif fiona in a.c
den wait for VIP for almost 2 frigging hour,
clothes is full of smell of the mixture of every stall in a.c.. it jus smell soooo good
after that the VIP arrive, not for 2 minute, jason called, and then say bye bye..
jesus christ!!! i m a totally PATHETIC!!!!

and one more thing, i walk UNDER THE RAIN to tbs, jus to take my transcript...
and then suddenly i saw a notice there saying that TODAY it is closed from 2pm!!!
wtFFFFFFFFF!!!! if i came just for the transcipt... i will!!! erghhhh!!!!!!!!

after, i did TALK on the car..
so, i said go movie, den reach jusco, sudden change of mind,
end up talking our secondary lives in nyonya colours...
with frances and jason.. until like 5..
den ciaozzzzzz...

my blog is full of WORDS!!! OMG!!

i m a frigging pathetic little gurl!!!!!!!! I M P A T H E T I C!!! total L O S E R!!!!!
*SIGH*
BYE BYE

C h a p t e r 70

hey yoz people.. i just finish my supp stats paper a few hours ago..
yesterday night was like people like me would not want to end..
geez..i was awake until 4 a.m in the morning.. and i actually wake up 7 in the morning..

after the test... i was like really mourning... for my stats paper... oh god.. plzz.. let me pass my paper.. i cannot resist any more 'surprises' .. i will GG for sure...

after the test, went a.c yum cha in a.c with ron, fuu yi, joey and gurl, nick, sherryn and her friend.. and all of us jus ordered "shuit cha".. hahah!!! ice chinese tea!!!!
because all of us are damn broke coz all our allowance are being cut cut cut!!!!
haizzzz... life is so suck for us... bst worst still!!!
dun wanna talk bout it, i will just pray everyday to all kinds of god so that i can pass this pathetic paper..

suddenly we talk about TBF and TBS.. joey came up with a very stupid name...

TBS- The Best School
TBF- The Best Foundation

erk!! damn zha dou!! den i jus add this two sentences 2gather into
"we are studying THE BEST SCHOOL and taking THE BEST FOUNDATION"

HAHAHA!!! i think we really should be proud to be a TAYLORIAN!! ok...hahahah!!!

was yum cha-ing half way then my aunt call saying that she need my car, omg!! and my sis called and say ask me go fetch my bro from skol!!!
y today????!!!
i was planning to makan with mich lee and melinda!!! omg!!! after that go watch movie!!!!
everything got to be canceled and went home at 12.05pm... in the early afternoon... goddd!!! this is the 1st time i came home from the subang this early!!! seriously the 1st time!!!

on my way back, then i received a call, my aunt saying that she needs the car at 4pm.. 4pm!!!!!!
coz she cancel her appointment d... !!!!!!!!!!
omg lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then, my bro suddenly came back wif my another aunt saying that he can come back early today.... wtf!!!!!!!
means i am not borrowing my car to my aunt until 4pm!!
and i don't need to fetch my bro!!!
i'm trapped!! at home!!! oh lorddddddd!!!!!

now, i m all alone at home.. dunno wat to do... and i have ntg to do!!!!
and i'm blogging for no reason!! jus to waste time until i think of what to do!!!!
ohhhhhhhh.....
now i shuld be eating and watching movie, enjoying myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit lah!!!!! like that also can ah!!!!
waloooo eh!!!!!!!



OK.. here is a pic where at 1st i was very confused what was that, and have no idea on what is that... after i actually found out... i was damn dumb!!!

and guess what
.
.
.
.
.
the "thing " that i thought was ME!!!!

it was taken in MY ROOM in MY BED!!!!
she put her blanket on my head.. and don't even realise.... geeeez!
o m g!! joanne took this pic when i was very sound asleeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!
ergh!! she woke up 1st... coz i darn tired.. sleeping like a pig!!!! coz we went velvet... came back at 4 in the morning... i also did not thought that she would wake up earlier than me...
i feel damn stupid when only i seriously look at the pic..
hahahahah!!! funny... stupid... and i'm *speechless*
WALaoooo-EH!!!