picture shows tons of meaning...

picture speaks a thousand words...

my words..

茫茫人海 相识相遇 是缘是梦?
冥冥之中 相知相牵 是梦是幻？

于是生活中多了一位真诚的朋友

多了一位朋友
少了一份寂寞
多了一份微笑

少了一份孤独
多了一份祝福

少了一份忧愁
多了一份快乐

少了一份虚假
多了一份真诚

有了这份真心祝福
生活便会温馨甜蜜

有了这份真诚祝愿
事业将会一帆风顺

有了这份甜美祝福
身体将会健康长寿

朋友：不要忘了我的祝福！


i can never agree more with mich...
mich says : maturity does not grow with age...
continue by : but it grows in PAIN...
I say: Can never agree more.. *nod nod*

it starts again.. teach me what to do T.T

now i do understand why people always said,

"woman always speaks the otherwise from their heart"

yea, whenever i feel down with something personal, i will say "F* it la!" "i don't care la" "not my problem" "y should i be so stupid" "don't bother" "whatever la!"

but actually i do care, and i care a lot.. i feel damn depressed whenever i think about it.. and i keeps appearing on my mind, the more i don't wanna care, the more it flashes back, everything and everywhere, there's memory.. i will just automatically think about it.. and sometimes, i will become so so sensitive...

November 2nd, the most depressed day of my life... the start of a emotion torturing life..

well, i need to really apologize to my mom coz sometimes memories reflects back, i get really really moody, my temper is way OUT! sigh

i need a getaway! but i am in debt, can't afford to go far away, i really really wanted to go to langkawi with Ju and the gang.. i wanna follow richard to pangkor.. i wanna follow ckk to bali.. i wanna go singapore to meet up my cousins.. i wanna go back to redang! but my pocket is severely bleeding already.. and i need a job to pay my fees..

i sleep 12 hours a day, but still i'm very very tired..
smile and laugh is what i used to do everyday, used to do...
every simple thing i do i get satisfaction, i feel happy.. even now i won the snooker game by 40 points, i don't feel anything..

i need n*******e..

let it be...
let it bee...
let it beeee...
o
let it beeeeee...

speaking word of wisdom..

let it beeeeeeee...

wake up
bath
eat brunch
watch tv
eat dinner
watch tv
go online
watch tv
read newspaper
eat supper or go mamak
bath
sleep

thats my daily routine for almost 2 weeks.

can anyone be more pathetic than me.

i need a life.

you

i am so mentally tortured.
no kidding.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suddenly i feel like serenading,
i shall name it
"YOU YOU and YOU"

T.T i dearly miss you. in my sleep i dream of you. when i eat i think of you. when i drink i think of you. when i'm alone i think and misses u. every corner i sit i think of u. every laughter i thought of you. everyday i want to be with you. every hour i want to listen to you. every minute i'm worried about you. every second i'm thinking of you. Bits and pieces of my heart belongs to you. My feelings are all of you. My passion is about you. My hobby is loving you. i hate lying to you but sometimes its all for you. i can sacrifise all for you. i can fulfill all you want for you. i want to be there for you, no matter where or when, as long its for you. my brain is all of you. my heart cherish you. my memories are all about you. I live because of you. people ask me to avoid you, i told them "fuck you!". my world spins because of you. my clock ticks because of you. i want to protect you. i want to hold you. i want to keep u safe. i want to keep you warm. i cry because of you. i live because of you. i eat because of you. i drink because of you. i breathe because of you. i smile because of you. i'm sad because of you. i'm tortured because of you. i work because of you. i want to succeed because of you. my love is only towards you. i can die for you. I sworn my love to you. i want to be there for you. because all i want is YOU.

your love is amazing.

you changed me to be a better person. you made me a wise person. you encourge me to be successful. you motivates me to do my best. you teach me to be independent. you loved me which makes my life perfect. you cared for me. you worried about me. but you used me. you make me love you. you made me confused. you made me go mad. but, you did it because of me. you steal my heart. you rob my feelings. you give me strength. you give me hope. you give me faith. you make me strong. you, the one who gives me the will to carry on. but, why are you 'breaking' all of it? why?

I'm all out of love.
I'm so lost without you.
I'm all alone.

all i want is just to continue my studies and let me finish it..
it that so hard?

move on.

the pursuit of happiness...
HOW?

truth

每個人看待事物,都不可能站在絕對客觀公正的立場上,而是或多或少地戴上有色眼鏡,用自己的經驗、好惡和 道德標準來進行評判,結果就是——我們看到了假像。

all is left, memories, i shall cherish..
people's judgment always belongs to people..
when the perception is there,
they will believe what they want to believe..
no matter how hard you try to convince..

i will not give up, because i know i have not did anything wrong to any of them. in the end, it is their choice.

when someone do something bad, they even can be very happy and lucky, but god will punish them, maybe not now, its just only matter a of time. they will pay for what they did.

Life has to go on.

I'm tired.
Mentally tired.
Physically tired.
Really tired.
Tired of fighting.
Tired of "killings".
I give up.
Whoever wants to win, you win.
Whatever, I don't care anymore.
I want to find a place to lean on, sleep peacefully.

Despair.
Why trouble always "defined" me.

I want my life back.

I want my friends back.
got to admit, i miss JMMKJ, i miss Point 3's, a lot a lot

I want to go back to the life I have back in Taylors.

I am in hell.

How am I suppose to focus when all the bullshit going on?

WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF GOD HAS EYES! HAS EARS!!
THEN LOOOK! AT ME!! LISTEN TO ME!!!
SEE HOW PATHETIC I AM!!
LISTEN HOW SUFFERING I AM!!!
WHAT HAVE I DID WRONG!!
WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING TO ME!!
WHY ME!!! WHY!!!!

i must be strong, independent. HELOO!!! i'm a human!! for god sake!! not ROBOT!!!! even robot has a ON OFF switch!
I'm in a WAR, all by myself, alone, what do you expect more from me???!!

i'm so gonna sick soon, having real headache now..
having a sprain neck..
someone... save me

there is up and down in life, obstacle in life,
but its just to "heavy"... for me to bear..

too heavy :..(
I'm out of tears to cry
I surrender.

story

Below are the words:

what
just for the sake
don't know
why
stupid
confusion
jeopardize
idiot
denial
disappointment
sad
pathetic
affection
confidence
promise
paradise
respect
love
usefulness
capability
appreciation
nothing
blame
worth?
care
concern
silent
lonely
impressed
fail
hope
blank
mountain
climb
trust
sacrifice
advice
forgive
forget
everything
nothing
realize
late?
hatred
anger
disbelief
absence
spare
happy
to loved
to be love
to care
relationship
bullshit
outsider
stranger
want
wish
no one
stars
dust
sarcastic
heavy
hurts
kills
convenience
fame
money
not to be seen
ego
feelings
give up
harm
protect
mean?
dream
you
successful
lie
but
me
feel good
motive
encouragement
important
true
depress
slave
there
me
none
believe
I'm
trouble?
heart
pain
as
knife
stabs
reality
realistic
but
can't
afford
brave
face
again
fake
untrue
tried
mask
cheated
don't matter
money
truth
unbelievable
loyalty
belonged
gap
calculative
sensitive
not shown
always
strong
keen
pretend
sincerely
but
end?
background
ok
too generous
rubbish
useless
worthless
illogical
unexplainable
exploit

i hope what is happening is not true, but is that called self-denial? must there be a wall, gap in between? i think because i'm stubborn enough not to believe. because, its all my fault.

from the words and sentences above, form a story, because it is my story.
tell me if you have form one, if u formed correctly, TGI Friday on me :)

I'm so confused, i don't know what to do, all this while everything i've seen are so untrue, everything i believe are so untrue, everything i wanted to be seems so impossible, i don't know what had happened, i truly can't believe.

maybe i'm still too naive, i thought i'm strong, keen, wise enough, but i'm not. So not. in the end, I'm nothing but just an ordinary college student which is so not focus.

I sacrifise so much, which i always tell myself it is worth anything in the world, but in the end, not only its worthless, its totally useless... i have no expectation, is that wrong?

I want to learn, willing to learn, i thought I was given the chance, again I'm wrong.
I was once very proud of what I've been given, felt so lucky, proud.. the feeling is like.. "OH! FINALLY" but now.. its just another big slap of the face.. and also time to put my head into my ASSHOLE!
Help me!

so ironic :(

less!!

i received this email from one of my friend..
and i feel it is so damn true!

21st Century...

Our communication - Wireless

Our dress - Topless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our labour - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our boss - Brainless

Our Job - Thankless

Our Salary - Very less.!!!

HENG AHH!!

so daMN sick.. arrgggh! :(
i shall curse the FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

argh

today..
i am so dissapointed, it hurts so much than i can ever imagine..
i just feel like asking people to go to their house than beat the hell out of them until they kneel before me and beg worst than a beggar, then i will ask them to go to toilet drink everyone's pee and bath from the longkang.
than, i will slap their mouth until it bleeds than i will pull out their teeth one by one, one at a time..

so despair, depressed
this is how friends works, this is how they betray u
walk in and out of your life like nobody's business
now only i realise how they value friendship..
sometimes, i really am doing pointless things

i was wrong, and i am wrong but i will not be wrong
i shall make them regret
who the fuck they think they really are..

TRUST is everything,
JEALOUSY destroys everything,
LOVE saves something,
HATE do nothing
LIKE is something
MAD is onething

YOU are nothing
because
I am everything

i always reminisce.. what my teacher always tell me

"you are doing a good thing, but i doesn't mean people will appreciate it, and in the end, people will think that you're doing a bad thing"

and its true enough..

ok.. i am now in the "office"..
had done all of my "work"
yea.. all of them went to attend the meeting..
i didn't want to go because i'm wearing SLIPPERS and not wearing even half formal clothes..
i would be damn shy wei...
having butt sit in the chair for 3 hours.. it might worth it if i learn something rather than being so tired and listen to the things which is confidential and got to keep to myself..
cheeez!

back to "college"
omg!! so many assignments to do but i have no mood to do it at all...
yup! i seem to be so hopeless after my very "expensive" lesson last semester..
but i know i know..
discipline.. self-motivation.. initiative.. hardworking.. blah blah..
and my finals is at..
2 papers in october and 1 paper in november..
after that MERDEKA...
ok.. i know its tooooooo early to think about it.. but just think only lar..

don't know why i am so tired la.. BUH!

yesterday i don't know why i would sent a stupid message..
just to convince her to go to the doctor...
in which she is stubborn enough to do that..
i had a shocked of my life seeing her right in front of me choking because she cant swallow her food, suffocating and seeing her tears coming out.. i got STUN there for a few seconds!
everytime i will see her either feeling giddy, heart burn or headache..
see her like that i also feel very sakit hati..
i treat her like my mom, and i don't want anything bad happen to her :(

realize

Finally, i knew the real meaning and the arts of "keeping to yourself"
today i am so damn depressed of which i don't know what is happening to me..
suddenly i feel that i don't belong anymore..

in reality, everything is so cruel..
when u have something or u got something..
people will just treat you so nice..
when u lost it.. then its the time to realize..

people say,
people come and go,
its a things where it cannot be control.

but for me..
its depends on whether u want it or not..
whether u have the initiative or not..
if u doesn't want to lose it..
u will not..

when discrimination begins..
from there.. u will learn everything..

they said friends are just passer-by..
but i said.. they can be passer-by..
or
u want them to be the ones who will accompany you to walk for the rest of your life :)

i treasure them.. but do they?
*depressed*

brain damage

well, its been really a loong loong time since i update this blog..
yea, kinda lazy too.. hahaha!

well, my currently situation is..
BAD x10 WORST x100 SUCK x1000 $#@!%#$-UP X100000000.....

ok.. my life now would be --->
college(assigm+bullshit+crap+POLC+sohai lecturer) + --> work(travelling+ thinking of transport) ----> sleep(still thinking) =STRESS + brain damage

its been the longest time i've meet the 38 gang.. didnt have the time to go meet the 38 ppl..
ok.. now i'm asking u all..
"helo.. how are you? :) "

since most of my friends have already left malaysia..
they are all around the world in every corner of this world..
mostly they JAM themselves in australia..
very very very less outing already..
now i think i go huc more than i go subang... maybe thats a good thing..

after my car was taken away..
i can really see the true colours of people..
see it on my own eyes,
of course the truth always hurts, but its better to know now then never right?
i dont know why even though i have known the truth from the beggining, i chose to deny, therefore now i deserve to suffer the consequences...

aiyoo.. tomorrow test,
4 chapters.. and i just started..
wish goodluck to me... hallelujah..
so not gonna sleep tonight..
mahai.. i hate my stupid lecturer wei!! fucking dumb ass!! well, cant blame him.. he has the biggest ass i've ever seen in my whole life..

it has ended before it beguns... when i thought everything is gonna be ok

life has to move on right?

thinking of next year just makes me feel so excited!! hahaha...
shhh.... p&c!! hahaha!!

actually its been a long time since i update this blog..
i got tons!! of things i want to post up..

Ja Ye's birthday
Ms.Sheila's farewell
Prom Night
Holiday Camp
blah blah blah

haiz.. i'm BORED!! help me!! :(

yup yup.. its been a loooong time i have not my very blog..
well busy with the same ever damn thing again.. which i swear i'm not gonna be involve already and focus in my studies.. i'm still keeping my words thou

so many things can happen which u will never expect..
haiz.. just don't know where to start and which to end..

well apprently i lost my car.. so every single day.. i would have to wake up at 8 in the morning!! F! no matter wat time is my class.. SHIT! i'm so going crazy!

speechless

funny as it seems
crazy as i speak
saddening as i complaint
damn fed up as i think
dissapointing as i recall

problems problems problems problems

never ending

i want to tell the truth
but i can't
maybe because of my egoism

i know i am so screwed
i know
i try to find a way out
i am so fucking stress and worn out
always dealing with those PROBLEMS
but who can i share with?
advice is what i need..
only reasonable advice i will follow
but not everyone can give me that

its been a hell for me since i enter this college
everyday,
u have to expect the unexpected
and always have to make sure that you're ready for it

but,
i am really glad that i got to meet really kind people here.
whom i can call my friends.
although all of them are not students,
they are like 5 years, 10 years even 30 years older than me,
they are really like my family.
i can tell everything to them
i can be myself when i am with them
i can tell them the truth without any hesitation
i do not need to tell lie,
or
need to think another story to cover up

i really hope my real family are like them,
all i want is them to be understanding,
can they once think from my shoes?
my face shows that i'm ok
i'm cool,
i'm tak apa apa,
but do you know what i really feels.
for everyone's information,
HELLO!
i am also a HUMAN with FEELINGS!

i have set a goal for myself:-
1) MOVE OUT!
2) MOVE OUT!!
3) MOVE OUT!!!

because i'm so fed up!!!! i want to have my OWN home :(

OUT! *panting*

can my life be like any other ordinary students?
why is it all happening to me?!
i really got no more strength..

i know its my fault,
but all these LESSONS are too expensive for me,
way too expensive.

i am so tired.

ahem..
Now, I am in the college, doing nothing, no classes
i woke up so early for nothing..
but i had a wonderful lunch eating my favourite mee hon kueh!! WOO!!
then come back to college.. doing nothing again..

staring at the computer
also don't know what to surf online
i got no idea what am i doing
obviously
i am doing nothing
of course, i will die of boredness someday
or
i will start talking to myself
or
go into depression.. LOL!

haha! and i don't know what the hell am i talking here..

bored.
bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.

sad. :(

i am sooooooooooooo booooooooooored :(

tak tauuu!

funny as i recall.. but now i am so blurr... and very confused!
yet! i still cant decide!
so many things i hear.. so many advice i've listen to...
but neither do my brain nor my heart is processing it..

but i think they are right..
i need to do something... with my F! life..

sometimes they feel its wrong.. but i cant feel it..
thou when they tell me i felt a bit true..
dunooo laH!

there are good things that people talk about..
also there are bad things that people mention about..
whom i believe it doesnt matter..
because in the end.. i am the one upon making that decision..

but.. i still i don't know what i want :(

FLYyy AWAYyy

AISEH!!! why is everyone FLYYYing AWAYYYYY!!!!*crying*
this one that one another one sumore next one...*crying*
super damn heartbroken!*crying*
i hate the feeling of separations! *bang the wall!**crying*
yup! the reaction of the picture of the turtle above is what i am feeling now..*crying*
AIYOOOOOOOO!! ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! WTF!*crying*

ok..
for this week..
first, Mic left for Australia-melbourne on tuesday *sobs* *crying*
second, Sufyian and Mizan leaving to Dubai*crying*
third, Cheng leaving to Australia-adelaide *crying*

AFTER THAT!
now everyone got holidays! all BALIK kampung!! for around a month!*crying*

THEN!
Eugene going to US*crying*
Jason going to Australia-adelaide*crying*
Joe going to US*crying*
Hua Hong going to US*crying*

THEN!
WHO'S NEXT! HAH! MALAYSIA NOT GOOOOD MEH!!*crying*
ok.. me very understanding people.. GO! GO! GO! GO!! GO!!!!!*crying*
FASTER GO!!!*crying*
REMEMBER! to come back la!*crying*
BUT! ALSO! don't come back if u got swine flu! :)*crying*


OF COURSE...

i would sincerely wish all of u all to have a great journey there! to which ever country la*sobs**crying*
all the best in your studies... and remember to study eh! *crying*
ohya.. eat more vitamins to boost up your antibodi! swine flu! *crying*
TAKE CARE!*crying*

I WILL U ALL EVERYDAY EXCEPT WEEKENDS.. my brain needs to rest right?*crying*

KUAK! sooooory i can't send u off that day because...*crying*
yea.. i don't want to cry in front of you!! but i was crying already when i called u and before i went to sleep.. serious..*crying*
i was very depressed that day... reallly saddd..*crying*

ok.. *crying*
BYE BYE! *crying*
SOBS SOBS SOBS! *crying*

*i'm still crying*
*depressed*

BWAi my fren!

its been a long time since we sing k..

and finally unisa-ian had finish their exams!

hmm.. of course the gang has really change... last time we really had a blast!

haiz.. now quite a few of them are leaving malaysia to furthur their studies in australia :(

well... goodluck to all of them.. and I shall miss u all...

mayb everyday except weekends.. LOLS! haha!!

OUT!

ok.. this is the web video which JU and JIN having fun with!
told ya!! i recorded!
HAHAHA!! they are so lovable!! :)

omg!! i am broke! very the pok eh...
omg!! so many of my friends are leaving malaysia to furthur their studies!
omg!! i'm having holidays and i feel so damn bored!!
omg!! the weather is sooo damn hot! LOLs!

ok.. i am REALLY bored!
anyone wants to go out for a drink or sumthing?? ><"

no matter

questions just filled the air...
no matter how close you are to a person, you will never know what are they thinking..
no matter how many people you know,in the end, you are still alone..
no matter how much sincerity you gave, if it is not appreciated,it will still be a disaster..
no matter how much effort u put in, if it is not recognize, it will be a waste..
no matter how good you treat a person, if a person don't appreciate it, in the end it will be nothing..
no matter how people look at you, the most important thing is how you look at yourself..
no matter how u look at youself, in the end what others look at you is most important..
no matter how important is other's perception towards you, the person u cared the most, their perception makes the changes..
no matter how many goodwill you've shown, people might have think otherwise..


a mentor tell me

"you will have to make some changes in your life,
think carefully especially if it means giving up a lover or a person u
cared for another"

:/

MAMA's "21st" birthday

yup.. supposedly me and eugene plan to surprise her on her birthday..
manatau... haiz.. canot la.. she's one lady with full of plans.. lols!
not only that.. i can't book a reservation because the restaurant dont provide the service and we have to wait around 40 minutes for a table... ><" ok.. this is the 1st time i fail to come out with a surprise party and fail so miserably! anyways.. all of us were happy especially Ms.Katherine... Happy Birthday :) we went Chili's Bangsar.. those attended were Me, Owais, Lynda, Martyn, Mr.Victor, Eugene, Cheryl, Eric and Jonathan.. of course Ms.Katherine-the birthday LADY!

all i can say is.. she is a very nice, kind and wonderful lady. i am really lucky to get to know her in person. although she always get into trouble helping people but she never gave up. yea, she's a GEM! like people who knew her always say.. wishing her always be healthy and fit and of course to stay young and beautiful as always...

lovely cake rit!!! haha!! i bought it! haha!! syok sendiri :P

haha! love to see the smile on her face

"when she is happy, so does everyone"

presents time!

hmm.. yea.. my exams is OVER!
but i dont feel whether its something very happy or a relieve...
its just nothing...
haha.. i remember the point three time...
it was just fantastic... everytime after exam.. its like really merdeka!
go watch movie la.. sing K la... shopping la... club la... haha! i am really laughing out loud now while thinking.. i guess.. memories are the best present of all :)

now.. people and all of the things here are just different..

i'm tired, but i couldn't sleep
i'm hungry, but i got no appetite to eat
i'm worried, but i don't have the enthusiasm to CHIONG ah..
i'm bored, but i don't know what to do
i want to do something, but i don't know what to do..

just kill me! buh,...

omg!! final exams in less than 48 hours...
i am sooo not ready for the exam!
the fear of flunking the papers is here!!
but the mood for me to keep studying in not here!!
arrrghhh!!!
help meeeeeeee!!!

I MISS 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just now, i suddenly miss point three so damn muchhh!!
some of my classmates are PATHETIC!!! now i feel irritated!!
errrghhh!

hmm.. sometimes i feel like closing my eyes and don care about what is happening...
i want to be in my own world like how cheng always do...
haiz.. just cant do it.. can someone slap me and wake me up!
lols..
my english very cha meh??!

have u ever look into the mirror and ask yourself, "who are you, what are you doing".

if i was given a chance to emend things, i would say 'no' because i have not regretted on what I've did and faced.

who can 'colour' me? because now only i realize, i really suck in colouring :(



listening to- everything- by lifehouse

random.

KLIA, bye shamroz

ok..
it was THE DAY for shamroz to say goodbye to malaysia and hello dubai..
we miss him already..

shamroz, me and mr.victor


In the airport

shamroz and Ms.Katherine
(i miss burger king tooo!)

oxygen session :)
left: martin, eugene, owais, lynda, sufyian

checkinnnnggg in

group picture before CIAO!
ohh.. shamroz is about to cry
.
.
.
.
.
crying session
.
.
.
hugging session
.
.
.
more hugging
.
.
.
saying 'bye bye' session.
.
.
..
then

.
.
.
.
.
bye *sobs*

yesterday i went Penang along with Ms.Katherine and Puan Aini...
aiyo.. makan and makan and makan.. really bloated man.. imagine if we go stay over.. i will be really putting on weight man! haha! but it was fun.. and 1 thing bad is.. i cant get enough 'oxygen', sumore they dont like it.. when i'm back in klang sitting in the mamak with ann and jason.. i just have it continuosly.. god! i have to stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mayb next year's resolution*wink*

...............good time is about to end...........................

here come the problemss
.
.
.

i really thought my ptptn issue are all sorted out..
but! its not :(
the completion of foundation cert is giving me a headache...
i did not finish my foundation in taylors.. then i did my last subject in hict..
the NOW!
both sides cant give me the cert..

if i cant get the cert.. i cant get my ptptn loan...
if i cant get my ptptn loan... i cant get my money..
if i cant get my money... i am soooooo dead!

why is so many stupid things is happening to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
one after another!!
damnnnn! sohai!! arrgh!!

Tarbush, Sunway Pyramid

wooo... there is so much thing happening.. and i dont know where to starttt....
hmm..

WELL... starting with our dinner in Tarbush, Sunway Pyramid..also a farewell dinner to shamroz before he go back to Dubai, with authentic middle eastern food.. oo.. the food taste gooooood...

we really have a good time..
me, katherine, eugene, victor, owais, lynda, martin, sufyian, mizan, francis, eric and shamroz!

the 2 "drug" addicts
martin and sufyian

the environment is good

fuuuh.. mizan

lynda is having a good timee

all of us :)

eric, mizan and owais

oh god! see how much shamroz enjoy his sisha!

the star of the night

sufyian and eugene

martin, shamroz and lynda

from right: kathrine and victor

aiyo.. victor.. also one hell of a funny fellow

well, we really enjoy the food there..


also, last week, we had a economics seminar in HUC damansara,
the talk was sooo bored!!
yea.... i slept almost the whole talk...
then we go visit kath's new office! its way smaller than her old one but comfortable..





haiz, so many things happen till i dont know how to describe... lols
all i can say is i'm STUCKed!

mahai.. y all this things happen to me..
just let me study and get my ass off to work field!
=(

sigh

today we had a chat...
disappointment on mr.victor towards my slumberness is making me very very stress..
i respect him a lot.. and i dont want to disappoint him..
just that.. haiz
i wanted to win of course..
but..
the feeling is just not there...
if i lose.. i know i will disappoint a lot of people.. after of all what i've did.. i know i shouldn't give up but... *sigh*

when ppl get tired.. they'll just go home and rest.. and do whatever they want to relax
BUT
i just cant find peace in my own bladdy house..
i just dont call that my home.. i just call that a place whre i sleep..
its damn irritating and annoying when do this also canot do that also canot..
people getting old are getting crazier.. fucking hate their attitude..
i just wanna do.. give him a big slap of the face and tell him
"mahai! u old man! i don give a fuck on what u wanna do.. u dont touch me i dont touch u.. now u will got a little bit respect for u and don lose it.. if u're too free and want to control things.. go get a dog!"


i think i need a hotel
zzz



GOD! i need to go to motivation camp ><"

i'm so tired but i cant sleep
i'm so worn out but i look so fresh
i'm so fed up but i still go on
i'm so close to winning but i nearly gave up
i'm so close to going crazy but still i'm very normal
i'm so close to come to fight but i'm in control
i'm so wanna bash them up but i know i cant do that
i'm so wanna sleep but i my eyes cant close
i'm so wanna shut down my brain but it just keep going
i'm so sick with them but still i have to bear with it
i'm so wanna puke but nothing is coming out
i'm so willing to sacrifice but dont know whether its worth it
i'm so going to let everything go but i know its impossible for me to do it
i'm so close to victory but i will only know the results in less than 24 hours ><""

SOMETHING!

last week, everything assignment was passed up...
but that is no sign of relieve to me because all this while, i've been busy with other things, got to admit that i have somehow neglected my studies..

i really miss those time where me and my friends are always together doing all sort of things.. even just yum cha session but we already have a great time..
things change.. people change.. environment change.. friends change.. love ones change.. even the closest to you change..everything change

if u're up to date on my matters.. then u should know i'm currently running for the president for student council..
of course, in the beginning, sure la beria-ia, but then, some problems begin to settle down and finally i began reflecting and thinking of all those things had happen..
i did ask myself - "why are u doing all these? just for the sake of filling your 'empty spaces'? do people appreciate what you do? are u a fool doing all these? changes, yes, we need to change but how much can i do in such a college? a leader, am i still capable of doing it? sometimes i feel its better for me to just follow orders, kissing my boss's ass and climb up the ladder than wanted to do something where i must protect myself from being 'killed' every single day.

it aint easy for me to reach 'here' and 'now'.. also now i cant and cannot afford to turn back.. i cant just keep quiet because i know by doing that the 'assasins' can easily get their job done..
sometimes i feel like giving up with the 'i don know and i don care' attitude, but i just cant do it..
some matters, i am so personally attach till i forget i'm a student! for god sakes!

i do have experience, no matter how much i do, how much i sacrifice, how much time i've put on, how much efforts i put in, still i cant change THE thing..

well, after so much things, i really learn a lot of things.. the experience is remarkable, i've meet the "big" people, also i've meet capable and amazing people.. not only nice but.. i also duno how to say.. i would say its a blessing from god to let me know those people..
on the other hand, i've meet terrible people.. seriously horrible.. no words can describe how typical stupid and idiotic! they are so self-centered till even a passerby would spit on them when they walk by.. thats life..

sometimes i also feel very very tired.. my life just black and white...if not about this.. then is about that.. just a or b.. i feel so sick with it.. i go to college, go class, lepak at mkt, have lunch, go lim teh.. then go dinner with the rest.. go home, sleep.. then i repeat the same thing for the next 1864638368 days..nothing productive.. i need a LIFE man..

what i feel now is.. there is SOMETHING missing.. but i dont know what is that... haiz

i went to HUC today with kazi and shafaraz to send her things to ms.kath .. omg! her room has shrink to just a quarter from her room here! but, there is more peaceful and she's loving it.. we've miss her presence here though... then always we'll go either makan or drink.. supposingly she follow us back to klang manatau boss panggil.. haha.. we had a good time in the car and the front bumper coming out.. and also helped to remove the furniture s with the stacks of files whre the chair has been the joke of the day.. LOLS!
so we drop eugene off and balik..
yea.. this is the only thing i did can be defined as "productive" today ><"

GOD HELP ME! *emo*
GOD BLESS ME! *faint*

tired..

never thought people can be so unpredictable
well, at least better to know now than never..
i've learn alot..
thanks to those typical people..
sometimes..
i am so tired..
but i have never regretted to be part of it..

i'm missing someone.. but i don't know who is the one..
haha!! *random*

DAORAE, Mont Kiara

my family and relatives went to have to korean BBQ dinner in mont kiara.. DAORAE..
yea.. so random...
so... we went.. yes...
the kids were so excited about this place is famous because popular korean singers came here to have dinner before such as... DBSK, Rain.. and etc...
they were damn excited! ><"

*cut* pictures time

the environment was nice

this is THE BEST thing to eat!

yups... we met Lee Chong Wei.. the world No.1 badminton player...

the orang tuaS!! haha!! din know my mom was such a poser ><""""

my bro, wen and ni

???

omg!! y is why the hell is everything is happening in such a badddddd timing!!
aiyoooooooo!!!!
tao tia la!! ADUHAIIIIIIIII!!!!

gosh this week and next week.. all my assignments is gonna due..
at the same time!
student council campaign is going on! i cant afford to lose!!!

then, i'm having my finals at the first week of JUNE!!
oMGGGG!! fcuk laaaaaaaa!!!
i need to start studying, doing assignments, run for the president, prepare my team, campaigning, preparing my speech, BES presentation, run the council, and run one event!!
luckily a few things before that i've done...
plz hail my aSS!!!

i'm going SOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

but..
everytime i'm at college...
i know i got a lot of thing to do...
but..
at the end..
i still do nothing..
seriouslly..
even i'm in college at college until like 7 or 8pm...
I NEED THE ADRENALIN!!!!!!!!!
GIVE ME THE BLADDY DARN "KAN CHIONG-NESS!!!!!"
*SHIT*

ECU lunch

the ECU students had lunch with Ms.Katherine and Mr.Victor last week...
we wanted to treat them a meal because they have helped us so much...
as a sign of appreciation, i think thats what students can do..
we had our lunch at Mun Siang Lou.. the food was not bad..

Then, we had a little performance since in her room we had guitar and piano.. haha!!

Ruby solo!

Matthew solo!

Danny solo!

YAY!

haiz.. why dont things just come in a ways thats predicted?
tired..